| I always question myself and I really need to stop. I like who I am and I'm proud of the person I've become. The past few days I was kind of down on myself because... well I'll admit it, all my friends up here have been having dates and starting relationships and such with guys. I'm not jealous, I really am happy for them, but it makes me ask myself 'what's wrong with me?'. And I know there's nothing wrong with me, everyone is just different, but I always internalize these kind of things. Ack I'm messed up. So today I went to a barbeque to meet people and just let myself have fun. And I did! I let myself laugh, and not care about things, and just be myself. I had a really good time! When I came back I looked in the little mirror on my desk and just kind of stared I guess. And ya know, I really saw myself as pretty. No, I'm not gorgeous, I'm not 'hot', and I'm not thin, but I saw myself in a way that was pleasing. And in a way I felt beautiful. I finally got a chance to see what, hopefully, others see in me. I'm too busy judging myself, worrying about my appearance, and not having fun with things. These past few days I've just stopped worrying and let myself free, and I can see the difference it's had in me. I'm so grateful that I've been able to start overcoming my insecurities; I really think being here has had a lot to do with it. I love BYU. I think it's the best place for me to be right now at this time in my life. And as much as I miss everyone from home, I can't imagine myself anywhere else!!! Well, that's all for now
<3 Ashleigh |
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| I don't really have anything important to say... so I'll leave you with this
RISE AND SHOUT THE COUGARS ARE OUT!!!
EDIT//
Yay we won!!! 45 to 10!!! GooooooooooooOOOOO Cougars!!! |
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| ok, new favorite movie (or an addition to my favorites)!!! everyone go watch it, now!
 
thats HOTT! |
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^^Tayla and me at Jason's Deli... before I left |
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